“We live in the shelter of each other.” — Celtic saying

Who is RJ Thomas?

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and I earned my Masters Degree with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University. I earned my bachelor’s degree in Journalism and Communications from Washington and Lee University in Virginia. I have extensive post-graduate training in family therapy and couples counseling. In addition, I have done post-graduate training in crisis intervention, working with adolescents and assessment and diagnosis. I am very comfortable working with high conflict situation. 

As a father and husband I have personal experience raising children and know what it’s like to work hard on a good relationship.

Prior to becoming a therapist I had extensive experience running a business and understand the forces and pressures that come with professional life. In addition I have spent the last 6 years volunteering as a leader in a youth program working with kids from 7 to 18-years-old. This experience has given me a glimpse into their lives and the issues they face that I could not have gotten anywhere else. 

I have had high level training in leadership skills and believe these help me to connect with people on all levels and allow to me to help others succeed. 

In my personal life I am passionate about photography, the outdoors, sailing, surfing and ice hockey. I have also trained and served for 12 years as a scout leader mentoring and guiding young people through outdoor adventures, skill-building activities, and community service, helping them develop confidence, leadership, teamwork, and life skills that foster personal growth and responsibility. Click here to read more about why serving as a scout leader enhances my therapeutic skills.

TRAINING:

Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples

Structural Family Therapy

Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

Crisis Intervention

Assessment and Diagnosis

PROFESSIONAL AFFILIATIONS: 

International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy

California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists  (CAMFT), Served on Board of Directors for Long Beach-South Bay Chapter

Psy Chi: National Honor Society in Psychology

Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)

A Better Divorce, Regional practice group promoting respect and helping individuals maintain control of their process whiling staying out of court.

Services

INDIVIDUAL THERAPY

People seek counseling and therapy for many reasons. Whether it's a major life transition such as death, divorce, a new job or a new relationship or it's a more personal crisis something isn't working right now and you need help. Sometimes people seek help for themselves or their kids with depression and anxiety or things like ADHD, parenting, addictions and self esteem. And sometimes people can just feel overwhelmed and need help to make sense of things.  A therapist can provide guidance, encouragement and skills to help you cope, feel supported during difficult times and to help you navigate transitions and changes in your life. 

MARRIAGE and COUPLES COUNSELING

Many couples encounter periods of difficulty in their relationships, whether due to communication issues, unresolved conflicts, or life stressors that place strain on even the strongest partnerships. These challenges can sometimes feel overwhelming or persistent, making it difficult for partners to reconnect or move forward together. In such times, couples counseling can serve as a valuable resource, providing a supportive and structured environment to address concerns, foster understanding, and rebuild trust.

 I specialize in couples therapy and have advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a leading approach designed specifically for helping couples deepen their connection and resolve conflict. EFT is rooted in attachment theory and focuses on identifying and reshaping negative patterns of interaction that erode a couple’s emotional bond. Through this process, couples learn to express their underlying needs, vulnerabilities, and emotions in a safe and constructive way, allowing them to create new, healthier ways to connect and support each other.

 EFT is one of the most extensively researched forms of couples therapy, with studies demonstrating its effectiveness in reducing relationship distress and increasing relationship satisfaction. My training enables me to help couples move beyond surface-level communication issues to address the core emotional dynamics that drive their interactions, leading to lasting and meaningful change.

 In addition to my expertise in EFT, I have considerable experience and training in guiding couples through the aftermath of infidelity—a particularly complex and emotionally charged challenge. Infidelity often shatters trust and creates intense feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. Rebuilding a relationship in the wake of such a breach requires specialized skills and a sensitive, nonjudgmental approach. It is a challenging field because every couple’s journey is different, and the process often involves navigating a wide range of emotions and difficult questions about forgiveness, vulnerability, and the future of the relationship. My approach is tailored to support each partner as they process their emotions, rebuild trust, and decide together how to move forward, with empathy and respect at the heart of every session.

 FAMILY THERAPY

I am widely recognized as a highly skilled family therapy practitioner with extensive training in, and a deep commitment to, structural family therapy. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I earned my master’s degree with an emphasis on family therapy from Pepperdine University and completed two years of rigorous post-graduate training specifically in family systems therapy at Airport-Marina Counseling Service. My dedication extends beyond clinical work—I have presented training sessions on structural family therapy at respected institutions such as Antioch University, Pepperdine University, Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services and Collaborative Practice California, an organization dedicated to the process of divorce with resect, reflecting both my expertise and my ability to teach and mentor other professionals in the field.

Structural family therapy (SFT) is a therapeutic approach that examines the organization of the family unit—its roles, boundaries, and hierarchies—to identify unhealthy interaction patterns that may contribute to conflict or distress. As a therapist, I actively work with families to “map” these dynamics and then intervene to bring about healthier structure and interactions. Through SFT, families learn to communicate more effectively, establish clear boundaries, reorganize power dynamics, and develop greater adaptability in the face of life’s challenges. The ultimate goal is not only to resolve immediate problems but also to empower the family as a whole, fostering mutual support, better problem-solving skills, and improved emotional connections among all members.

My expertise in SFT allows me to skillfully assess family relationships and implement evidence-based interventions tailored to each family’s needs. This is especially important in complex or high-conflict situations, where a clear understanding of underlying patterns and alliances is crucial for creating meaningful, enduring change. My experience teaching and applying structural family therapy, combined with my empathetic, collaborative approach, makes me an exceptional resource for families seeking lasting improvements in their relationships and overall well-being.

CHILD and ADOLESCENT THERAPY

Working with adolescents often focuses on helping them navigate the delicate balance between home, school, family and friends. When children reach the teen years they want to pull away from family, seek independence from their parents and greater approval from their friends. They may also start taking risks neither they nor their parents are comfortable with. This can be a challenge for kids and parents alike and can lead to family conflict and a host of emotional issues. Setting clear boundaries and making sure everyone in the family communicates is key during this time.

CO-PARENTING

Co-parenting counseling is a specialized form of family therapy that helps divorced or separated parents work together more effectively for the well-being of their children and for themselves. It focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and developing shared strategies for parenting across two households. The goal is to minimize the negative impact of divorce on children and parents and to foster a cooperative, stable environment where kids and adults can thrive.

As a skilled and compassionate co-parenting counselor, with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and extensive post-graduate training — including family systems therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, crisis intervention, and collaborative divorce — I bring a robust clinical background to helping families in transition.

Deeply knowledgeable about the unique challenges faced by divorced parents and their children, I specialize in guiding families through the difficult process of adaptation after separation or divorce. My training in Emotionally Focused Therapy and Structural Family Therapy allows me to address grief, communication breakdowns, and high-conflict dynamics that frequently impact co-parents and their children. I am particularly adept at helping parents refocus on their children's best interests and rebuild stable, nurturing family routines despite ongoing legal or emotional disputes.

My experience includes years of hands-on work with children, adolescents, and adults, helping me to be attuned to the developmental and emotional needs of young people and parents adjusting to new family structures. I am recognized for a calm and supportive manner, which helps me navigate even the most contentious co-parenting situations. My approach combines directiveness with empathy—offering clear guidance while validating the emotional realities of both parents and children.

I use collaborative strategies to draw on principles proven to reduce conflict and help families move forward with respect and dignity. Through a blend of clinical expertise, real-world insight, and unwavering support, I provide families in transition with the tools and understanding they need to thrive after divorce.

Insurance

I do not accept insurance and I am considered an Out-of-Network Provider. I do not bill insurance, however I can provide you with a bill you may submit to your insurance for reimbursement. Services may be covered in full or in part by your health insurance or employee benefit plan but it is important to check your coverage carefully by contacting them and asking the following questions:

• Do I have mental health insurance benefits?
• What is my deductible and has it been met?
• How many sessions per year does my health insurance cover?
• What is the coverage amount per therapy session?

I can provide you with information to submit to your insurance carrier for full/partial reimbursement.

Payment
Cash, check, Visa and Mastercard. Fees are collected at the end of each session unless other arrangements are made.

Cancellation Policy
If you do not show up for your scheduled therapy appointment, and you have not notified me at least 24 hours in advance, you will be required to pay the full cost of the session.